


Secret Society

by jez (jezebel)



Category: Queer as Folk (UK)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-23
Updated: 2010-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jezebel/pseuds/jez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vince always thought he knew everything about Stuart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Society

***

"Vince..." Stuart slurred as he leaned over the table, a stupid grin on his face and his breath smelling of Vodka and something else that Vince couldn't place. "This is Mick..."

"Nick." The other man, a cute young blonde, corrected.

"…whatever." Stuart dismissed. "He says he has never been in a jeep before, can you believe that, and he calls himself a gay man!"

Vince rolled his eyes as Nick, or Mick, or 'blonde shag from last night' as Stuart would probably refer to him later blushed. How did Stuart always manage to pick them?

"You want the car." Vince replied, as he fished around in his pocket for the keys. He knew that he should argue with Stuart about him not driving in his state but from experience Vince knew that if he didn't give him the keys Stuart would just break into his own car and then blame Vince for the repairs. "I knew you would do this, you always fucking do this. Now I'm stuck here till Hazel has finished."

"Get a cab."

"I haven't got that kind of money." Vince replied softly, hoping that Stuart's shag didn't hear. Not that Vince really cared but he didn't want anyone knowing that he was a bit short that month, he could usually make ends meet but not if it meant spending £30 on a cab home.

"Here." Stuart said, holding out his wallet. "My new account number is in there, I can never remember it."

"Sandra will kill me." Vince warned. He knew that the reason that Stuart's last account number had changed was that some shag had copied it and driven all over town on Stuart's expense account.

"Fuck it." Stuart said. "Pay with cash. There's hundreds in there."

Great, Vince thought, now he was a target for mugging.

"Mick and I...wait, no...Rick and I are off."

"Don't forget to pick me up in the morning." Vince called after him, wondering if Stuart was going to remember. He would probably end up having to get the late bus and explaining to Mrs Fletcher why he was late again.

Taking the soft leather wallet Vince flipped it open, wondering if there really was hundreds of pounds in there and if he should go shopping at Stuart's expense. Obviously as three fifty pound notes spilled out of the crammed section Vince knew that his friend was not lying. Vince sighed, polished off his drink, and thought he would be better off getting home and getting an early night if he was going to be up in time for the first bus in the morning. Like all the other men in his best friend's life, Stuart wouldn't remember him in the morning.

***

***

While sitting in the back of the cab on his way home Vince wondered how much cash Stuart really had on him that night. He opened the wallet, convincing himself that he was doing this for Stuart's best interest, and started to rifle through the contents. Six red notes, three hundred pounds, and a couple of tenners were stuffed in the notes compartment. There was also three separate platinum cards that Vince knew got paid off at the end of each month and a taxi and calling card that were part of Stuart's generous expense account from Thrive. Vince was surprised that Stuart didn't have a concealed mirror in there as well.

Vince's own wallet had a library card, a video card and two credit cards that were useless because they were on their limits. Stuart didn't have anything as plebeian as a Blockbuster card, he got all the latest DVDs through the post each week on account.

There was one card in Stuart's wallet that Vince couldn't recognise though and he was surprised that Stuart had membership to anywhere. Stuart was always of the opinion that he wouldn't want to join any club or social group that would have him as a member, in fact, he wouldn't join any group that he would need to apply for because the process of filling in an application would be too much trouble.

The unique card was black with no words on it and just a number that Vince assumed was a membership number and a metallic strip that must contain some other information that was relevant to the private club or association that Stuart was a member of. The only other item in the wallet was a post it note that had been attached to the card with a number written on it. Stuart didn't keep the numbers of any of his shags that asked him to call so it must be something to do with the card, Vince knew that he should leave well alone, that this was probably part of some elaborate scam that Stuart had set up to have a laugh at his expense but his curiosity was piqued and Vince knew that he would not be able to sleep until he had called the number.

Taking out his phone he was about to dial when the cab pulled up.

"That's £35.20, call it £35 even." The cab driver said, sounding as if he was being generous.

"It's on account." Vince replied. "Stuart Alan Jones. Thrive #99654"

"I know that you're not Stuart Jones, I had him in the back of my cab last week." The driver replied, and from the emphasis of his words Vince knew that it was Stuart that had taken the cabbie for a ride.

"Fine." Vince said with a sigh, taking one of the fifties from his friend's wallet and handing it to the driver.

The driver took it and then harrumphed as Vince held out his hand expectantly. Obviously the driver thought that he was getting a tip but Vince was not about to fork over any more money than he had to. Stuart might hand over his money to complete strangers but Vince wasn't about to waste it.

The man handed Vince fifteen pounds in loose change, hoping that Vince would take it as a parting shot and Vince got out of the cab without saying another word. He had other things on his mind like the little black card in his hand and what it was that Stuart got from them.

***

***

Vince sat on his sofa, television blaring in the background, but he was not focussing on anything but the card in front of him.

Vince tapped it against his thigh as he wondered what to do. He knew that he should leave well alone, that Stuart had few secrets and that if Vince was not privy to this one that it was probably not worth knowing but there was something about the way the card had been hidden that made Vince suspicious. Vince's mind ran through all of the obvious possibilities of private health care and hotel memberships but Stuart didn't worry about things like that, he let Sandra deal with those, and there was no other reason that Vince could think of behind the card. Sighing and knowing that he would not rest till he had an answer Vince dialled the number and prayed that Stuart would never find out.

The phone rang three times before an answer phone picked up. Vince was about to hang up when the voice cut in.

"Please key in your membership number."

The automated service said. Vince panicked for a moment, thinking that he would get caught and that someone would track him down and know that this wasn't Stuart if he got the number wrong and then realised that it must be the number on the card. Vince keyed it in, ignoring the slight shake of his hand as he did so and chastising himself that it was probably just a phone sex hotline that Stuart called in boring business meetings, he was surprised when the phone rang a couple of time and then clicked as if it had been answered.

"Good morning, Mr. Jones." The polite young woman said, looking at his watch Vince noticed that yes, it technically was morning but not late enough for someone to be sounding so chipper. "I didn't expect a call from you so soon, was there a problem with your appointment time, did you want to rebook?"

"Er..." Vince flapped, not sure what he should say or if he should just hang up. They clearly knew that this was Stuart's account and that whoever they were they offered a personal and discreet service and Vince knew that his best friend would find out if he did or said anything wrong.

"Stuart?" The voice asked, a hint of concern in the voice and it was obvious that whoever was answering the phone knew his friend as more than just a customer.

"I'm sorry..." Vince said, trying to think on his feet and wondering what he should say.

"Oh." The woman said, she paused for a moment, as if thinking on her feet and then continued. "I didn't realise that Stuart, that is Mr. Jones, had a partner at the moment."

Vince noted the way that she said 'partner' but meant boyfriend or lover.

Vince didn't know what to do or say, he knew that he shouldn't have said anything in the first place so he hung up and stuffed the card back in Stuart's wallet before tucking it under the couch cushion for good measure.

Vince was on his way to the bathroom, wanting to wash his hands because they felt dirty with deceit, when the phone rang.

Vince nearly jumped through the ceiling at the noise and a dozen thoughts ran through his head about how they had traced his number or if he had broken some obscure section of the data protection act and that he was going to be arrested. Vince was just starting to think about packing a bag and getting away for a few days until things died down when his voicemail kicked in.

"Vince, It's Stuart..." he said, sounding slightly more sober. "Look, I'm sorry I was such an arsehole earlier, please pick up."

Vince took a couple of deep breaths wondering if Stuart knew what he had done and then answered the phone.

"Hello..." Vince said, trying his best to sound sleepy.

"Don't pretend that you were asleep, I know that you've just got in and are probably watching Doctor Who or something." Stuart said. "I just wanted to apologise..."

"What? Why?" Vince asked, even more suspicious than he had been before. Stuart Jones was never wrong and therefore never had to apologise for anything. It was one of the unwritten rules of their sixteen year long friendship.

"I hadn't forgotten, about dropping you at work in the morning." Stuart said. "I'll pick you up."

"Thanks." Vince replied, a small smile as he realised that Stuart hadn't forgotten and he chided himself for doubting his friend. "What happened to your shag?" Vince asked, more out of curiousity than for actually wanting to know. "You kicked him out already?"

"Stupid wanker." Stuart replied, in the same dismissive tone he used for most of his conquests. "Came in thirty seconds. What a waste."

"Well, you could always head out to the baths. It's still early and..."

"Nah, don't feel like it." Stuart said. "What are you watching anyway?"

"Nothing really." Vince said. "Nothing interesting."

"No, tell me." Stuart said, and from the tone of his voice Vince knew that this was one of the rare occasions when Stuart just didn't want to be alone and he felt an insane pleasure that it was him that Stuart had called.

"Well, see it's this episode where the Doctor, Tom Baker in this one..."

And a few minutes into his diatribe Vince heard the gentle snoring of his friend, he wasn't offended, more slightly amused by the events of the last minutes and he continued to talk to Stuart while his friend slept. After a few more minutes, the story complete, Vince kissed the phone gently and said a soft goodnight before heading off to his own slumber. The card completely forgotten as Vince was too busy filing away the happy memory of Stuart calling him just because he wanted to hear Vince's voice.

***

***

Vince was surprised to see Stuart waiting for him the following evening when he got off work. His best friend had been there as promised that morning to pick him up and Vince had handed him his wallet without thinking but Vince racked his brains trying to remember if they had made some plans that he could not recall. Stuart had been happy and relaxed that morning but now seemed tense and worried about something.

"Get in." Stuart said, his severe tone telling Vince that now was not a good time to argue.

"Stuart?" Vince asked as he slid into the passenger seat and loosened his tie. "What is it?"

"Do you want to tell me anything about what happened last night after I left with Mick?"

"Nick." Vince corrected as a reflex because Stuart always forgot people's names. He paused a moment, watching Stuart's frown turn to a scowl and then remembered what he had done. "Stuart, I..."

"I got a very interesting call this morning from a friend."

"Stuart, I..."

"Shut up, Vince." Stuart said. "I don't want to hear it."

"I just..."

"I trusted you." Stuart said.

And Vince felt his heart break at the betrayal in Stuart's voice. His tone saying that Vince had broken some unwritten rule that he wasn't aware of breaking. Vince stayed silent because there wasn't anything that he wanted to say, wasn't sure there was anything that he could say to that.

"If you wanted to know what I was doing you could have just asked, you didn't have to call Anna, and..."

"She didn't tell me anything." Vince replied, feeling the need to jump to this girl's defence despite not knowing her or even speaking to her for more than a few seconds.

"I know." Stuart replied. "But the fact that you even spoke to her...Shit, Vince." Stuart said with a sigh. "Why couldn't you just have talked to me?"

Vince knew that the question was rhetorical but he was starting to get angry in response to Stuart's misplaced anger. Vince hadn't done anything, or at least didn't know what he had done and still Stuart wanted to blame him for this despite not giving him any clue about what he was supposed to have done. How could Vince apologise if he didn't know what he was supposed to be sorry for, and how could he have talked to Stuart if he didn't know what to ask.

"Maybe because you never tell me anything." Vince said. "Maybe because I was worried that you had gotten involved with something."

"I can look after myself." Stuart responded.

"You always ask afterwards why no one ever stops you, but then complain when we try to show concern."

"Fuck, Vince, if you're concerned then ask me. Don't go sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong."

"Well, how am I supposed to know it doesn't belong when I don't even know what you're talking about." Vince replied. "You're acting as if I've just broken the official secrets act or something..."

Stuart paused for a moment and Vince wondered if he was on the right track until he noticed the slight smile that was playing on Stuart's mouth.

"You bastard." Vince said with a smile.

"You deserved it." Stuart said with a serious note to his voice. "I never expected you to go rooting through my stuff."

"What is it?" Vince asked.

Stuart paused, they were almost at Vince's now and he paused, pulling the car into a space and then turned to look at his friend.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."

"Fine." Stuart said. "But it's better if I show you. I'll pick you up at eight tonight. Don't be late, and wear something other than that horrible suit."

"Smart?" Vince asked, intrigued now as to what it was that Stuart was involved in or where he was taking him.

"Casual, but not too casual." Stuart replied cryptically.

Great. Vince thought. It would take him the rest of the evening to work out what that meant. He supposed he could wear his dress shirt with some trousers, or maybe jeans. He was already halfway back to his flat when he realised that he hadn't even thanked Stuart for picking him up. He supposed he should hold on to his thanks until he knew just what Stuart had talked him into doing that night.

***

***

Vince was shaking with nerves at eight that night as he waited on the kerbside for Stuart to pick him up. The jeep came around the corner and Stuart screeched to a halt just in front of him. Vince moved to get in and was surprised to see a large bag in the back of the jeep.

"Where are we going?" Vince asked as he got in.

"It's a surprise." Stuart said. "Don't worry, I packed for you too."

"Stuart..."

"Get in." Stuart said, "and put this on." He continued, handing Vince a blindfold. Vince looked at it incredulously for a moment, thinking that Stuart must be joking until he saw the look on his face that told him that Stuart was serious. Vince paused a moment, wondering what he should do and then realised that if he wanted any answers he was going to have to play along, at least for a moment. He moved to slide the blindfold on and then secured his seatbelt, Stuart didn't talk, he turned the radio up to signal that Vince wasn't supposed to either and after a time Vince just concentrated on the sounds of the road and tried not to give in to the sense of impending dread that sat like a weight in his stomach.

Vince was almost at his wit's end when Stuart stopped the car and reached out, taking the blindfold from Vince's eyes and surprising him that they were in a nice area on the outskirts of the city. It was obvious that this had been a warehouse district before the recession and now it was replaced by what appeared to be an up and coming area of small restaurants and loft apartments.

"Where..?" Vince started to ask, but Stuart placed a soft kiss on his mouth to quiet him. Most people would have used a finger, but the soft caress was enough to shock Vince into silence.

"I'll explain it all in a minute." Stuart replied, popping his own seatbelt and then Vince's before getting out and taking the bag from the back of the car. Vince remained in his seat for a moment before Stuart said, "Well, are you coming?" And Vince nodded, opening the door and sliding out before Stuart changed his mind.

Vince followed Stuart to the door at the back of one of the empty warehouses, had it not been for the recent paint job and the obvious security cameras the place would have looked abandoned and all kinds of ideas started to run through Vince's head about what this place might be. He was surprised that the door was opened by a security guard that looked more like a stripper than a bouncer, but it was obvious that he could deal with any trouble.

They stepped inside to a foyer that reminded Vince of a hotel or gym reception and were greeted by a smiling woman whose name tag identified her as the person that Vince had spoken to on the phone.

"Stuart." She said with a surprised smile. "And I see that you brought a friend, is this...?" She stopped when Stuart interupted her with a brief nod.

"Well, aren't you a naughty boy?" She asked Vince with a wink that made him blush at the implications.

"Anna, please..." Stuart said in an amused tone that surprised Vince because his friend obviously knew this woman closely and yet he had never met or heard of her.

"Of course, Mr. Jones." She said. "I've reserved your usual space, will you be needing anything extra tonight?"

"Just my usual." Stuart replied with a wink.

"Of course." Anna replied.

"If you'd like to go through, did you have anything that you wanted to leave here?"

"Vince, did you bring your cell?" Stuart asked. Vince nodded and Stuart held his hand out expectantly.

"Sorry, we don't allow any phones, watches or other electrical items beyond this point." Anna said, pointing to a notice. "You can sign them in to our secure vault, and they will be handed to you on departure." She said.

Vince nodded and handed his phone other without another thought, he was already trying to work out what this place was.

"Thank you, Anna." Stuart said as he handed over his own cell, watch and car keys.

"Go on through," she said, pressing a button that opened another door that Vince had not noticed before. Stuart held out a hand, interlocking his fingers with Vince and then led him through the door.

Vince was not sure what he was expecting but he was surprised to find that it was a changing room much like the kind you might see in a gym or a sauna.

"We're through here." Stuart said, pulling out a keycard and sliding it into the lock on one of the changing areas. He placed the bag that he had been carrying and opened it to reveal a pile of clothes. Stuart unbuttoned his cuffs and slid his shirt off, digging around in the bag for a tee-shirt to wear. He surprised Vince by pulling on a ratty old cotton tee-shirt that looked as if it had seen better days, Stuart slipped off his shoes, socks and trousers and was left wearing his usual silk boxers.

"I wasn't sure what you would want to wear." Stuart said. "So I packed a few things, it's up to you..." He said as he passed the bag to Vince and Vince was surprised to see some soft flannel pajamas that were the right size, a bobbled tee-shirt that was as soft and faded as Stuart's and a pair of Stuart's usual silk pajamas with a matching kimono dressing gown.

Vince settled for the flannel and cotton because that was what he was used to, but was more surprised by the fact that Stuart was dressed so casually.

"I thought, I mean..." Vince wasn't sure what he had expected but this was not it.

"You don't have to wear anything," Stuart replied "but most people prefer to be comfortable."

He slid on the slippers and dressing gown that hung on the back of the door, beckoning Vince to do the same and then laced their fingers together again and led his best friend out of the door.

***

Whatever it was that Vince was expecting, it was nothing compared to the sight that awaited him as they entered the main room beyond the changing area. The room was dim, lit only by the odd table lamps which were dotted around the room at regular intervals and the soft lights which hung behind the bar. Decorated like an upmarket dinner theatre the main room had a bar and stage area that would not have seemed out of place except for the beds which stood where the chairs and tables would be. Customers, sparse though they were, relaxed to the soft jazz tones that were playing in the background and were gathered some sitting, some laying on each of the beds. Each bed had a lamp next to it providing the only light and Stuart made his way through the maze to a bed made out in soft cotton and flannel sheets, he slid off his robe, hanging it over the bed knob and placed the key card to their changing room on the bedside table that help the lamp before sliding into bed.

"What..."

"Shhh..." Stuart said, speaking in a hushed tone that Vince had not heard from him before. Stuart patted the bed next to him, inviting Vince to come closer and into the intamacy of his bed. Vince waited a moment before sliding off his own gown and sitting on the bed, knees drawn up to his chin and arms wrapped around them.

"What is this place?" He continued, this time in a more hushed tone.

"It's a club where like minded people can gather without fear of reprisals." Stuart said. "I know that I should have asked you before, asked if you were okay with this but..." Stuart stopped there, searching for the right words. "I didn't want you to judge us, to judge me before you saw the place."

"It's a sex club!"Vince said, his voice a harsh accusatory whisper.

"Oh, no." Stuart replied. "Absolutely no sex is allowed on the premises. If you have to think of it in those terms it is more of a fetish club, but it's not about sex at all."

"What would you call it then?" Vince asked, nodding to two people that looked as if they were getting very cozy in one of the other secluded areas.

"It's not about sex it's about intimacy." Stuart responded. "It's about being with someone in a safe place where you can be yourself."

"You expect me to believe that you come here, to what?" Vince asked, still trying to get his head around it. "To meet people? Is this just another place for you to pick up shags?"

"No." Stuart replied. "If anything I come here to get away from that. You don't get it do you? Out there I'm Stuart Jones, King of Canal Street, Champion shagger but don't you see that after a while that gets tiring. Some days you just want to come home and be with someone without all of that pressure, without the dinner and drinks before hand and without knowing that you'll have to shag them and kick them out afterwards just for the possibility of a few minutes of holding them which is what you really need."

"I don't..."

"Anna calls this place the cuddle club." Stuart said. "It doesn't matter if you're straight, gay, bisexual or don't have any inclinations either way. This place is not about sex it's about intimacy."

Vince saw the look on his friend's face, knew that this was something that meant a lot to Stuart and though it seemed an anathema to Vince when that was what he had boyfriends for, it was clearly something that Stuart wanted and needed so Vince did the only thing that he could do when faced with his friend looking at him in such an open and vulnerable way and that was to lay down next to him and hold him. Vince waited a moment, expecting to be faced with a laughing Stuart when he started to get a hard on but Stuart just held him and after a while Vince forgot the hardness himself, he realised that Stuart was right. This wasn't about sex, it was about love.

***

***

Stuart let out a soft sigh as Vince lay next to him, he wrapped one arm around his friend and let the other one lay against his side.

"So, how does this work?" Vince asked after a few moments. "I mean, do you just walk up and hug someone?"

"No." Stuart said with a small chuckle at Vince's idea. "It's like anything else, you get talking to someone, maybe you like them and want a little more. Some people just come here for a while to chill out and relax, maybe have a nap and meet a few friends."

"Do you have any? Friends?" Vince asked, knowing that he wasn't saying it clearly. "Special friends I mean, people that you like to..."

"There are a few people." Stuart said. "Not many. No one you'd know." Stuart added when he saw that Vince was about to ask him another question.

"Sorry." Vince said softly. "It's just this is a bit of a shock."

"First time I came was a bit of a shock to me too." Stuart said. "I didn't expect to like it. Didn't think it was what I was after but it turns out that it was exactly what I needed."

"How did you even hear about it?" Vince asked. "I mean it's not as if you can find this place in the yellow pages or something."

"You promise not to laugh?" Stuart asked.

"I haven't so far."

"The first time I came with Romey."

Vince waited, expecting something more and after a moment's silence Stuart continued.

"It was just after she got pregnant. Romey had this stupid idea that the baby needed to be close to both of us, we couldn't do it with Lisa around and Romey wasn't comfortable at my flat, something about there having been too many other visitors in my bed. Romey wanted a place that had the right ambience, she was very much into Feng Shui and the kind of vibrations that were good for the baby or some nonsense. She found this place through one of her single friends and, as it turned out, we liked it."

"You came more than once."

"At least once a month until Alfie was born." Stuart replied, not feeling as self conscious as he would have thought about telling Vince about what had previously been a closely guarded secret. "Romey had me talk to her stomach, which made me feel really stupid at first, especially as I couldn't just talk about last night's shag but after a while it felt like it worked."

"They say that a baby can hear everything going on around them." Vince responded, wanting Stuart to know that he understood.

"After Alfie was born I came away, didn't come back for a while but I got really antsy and needed something. You had Cameron and..."

"I'm sorry." Vince interjected.

"No, it's alright." Stuart responded. "I mean, yeah I was jealous but..."

"Jealous?" Vince asked, surprised that Stuart even knew what the word meant.

"Yeah, of Cameron." Stuart continued. "He had you all to himself and..." Stuart paused wondering how much he was really ready to share, how much he really ought to share. "And he got to hold you and be with you in a way I never could."

Stuart closed his eyes, not wanting to see the judgement on Vince's face but was surprised when Vince kissed him softly on the mouth.

"You can be that way with me now." Vince replied, pulling Stuart closer to him and holding tight.

And Stuart realised that Vince was right. That they were there together, content to share the moment, and with that thought on his mind and a soft smile on his lips Stuart was able to fall into a deep and silent sleep.

***

***

Vince woke from a wonderful dream, for a moment he thought that he was back in his childhood bedroom with Stuart sleeping over, it was only as he came fully awake that he realised that it had not been a dream. Stuart really was wrapped around him in a bed with his hard on pressed into Vince's back.

"Mmm...Morning." Stuart said, rolling over to look at the clock beside the bed before snuggling back into Vince's back. "It's just after five." Stuart whispered, his breath tickling Vince's ear as he spoke. "We can get up or wait a little while if you want. Anna won't kick us out for a while yet."

"I have work." Vince said, feeling like a complete idiot after he said the words when he was finally in the one place that he had wanted to be for years.

"Not till twelve." Stuart replied. "But I should probably get up anyway. Just be quiet until we get back to the changing room."

Vince nodded, sliding out of bed and sliding on the robe that Stuart handed him, he felt a little strange as he walked past three more beds of sleeping couples and two individuals before he found his way to the door.

Vince felt even more awkward when he got to the changing room and wondered how he would talk to Stuart after what they had just shared. He always thought that if he and Stuart ever shagged that he wouldn't be able to look Stuart in the eye, they hadn't had sex but in a way what they had shared had been more intimate and now Vince wasn't sure how to act or what to say.

"It's okay, Vince." Stuart said as he slid off the t-shirt. "I know you thought you'd be laughing but nothings changed, not really."

Vince wanted to scream and shout at Stuart that of course everything had changed but the truth was that in Stuart's world this was perfectly normal. Stuart wasn't completely in love with his best friend and hadn't been in love with him for sixteen years.

"Sorry, still a bit tired." Vince said, thinking that he deserved an oscar when he followed it up with a yawn.

"Well, you can get a few hours before you've got to get to work." Stuart said as he slipped into a soft pair of jogging trousers and a clean t-shirt.

Vince nodded, unconsciously dressing as Stuart had done and then turning to leave.

Stuart picked up his bag and headed for the door then paused for a brief moment before exiting.

"Thanks for last night." Stuart said softly.

Vince shrugged, hoping that his body language said that it was nothing, but in his mind this was not something that he could just shrug off and it was a night that he would file away with all of the other frustratingly close moments he'd had with Stuart that never quite added up to enough.

***

***

Over the next few days Vince tried not to think about his strange evening with Stuart, he preferred to let such hurts heal over a little before he remembered them, and instead he busied himself at Harlo's covering extra shifts as Graham was out sick with the flu. He was on his way to clear a spill on the produce aisle when he felt a hand close around his wrist.

"Can I...?" Vince started to ask but then paused when he realised it was his best friend that had accosted him.

"You've been avoiding me." Stuart said, his voice held an edge that Vince was not used to having turned on him and he wondered what he had done wrong. It had only been a couple of days and he had been working.

"I've been here." Vince replied. "Graham is out sick and I needed the money."

"We have to talk about this." Stuart urged.

"Not here." Vince replied, looking over his shoulder as he saw Rosalie walk past and blush as she saw Stuart. He might be out at work but that didn't mean that he wanted anyone to know about his private life.

"What time do you get off?" Stuart asked.

Vince thought for a moment, wondering if he could lie to Stuart, but he obviously paused too long as Stuart continued.

"And don't think about lying to me, I can tell when you're lying, I'll sit outside all day if I have to."

Vince had a moment of perverse pleasure at the thought of Stuart waiting for him for a change but he was too worried about what exactly they needed to talk about for him to push it any further. Vince sighed.

"I'm finishing at five."

"No staying later." Stuart responded, the demand clear in his voice. "No taking on extra hours, no matter how much you think you need to."

Vince nodded and then turned to say something only to see the retreating figure of his best friend. He looked at his watch and swore under his breath, great, now he had three hours to worry over just what it was that Stuart was going to say.

***

Vince was worn ragged after the last three hours of his shift spent cleaning spills, dealing with screaming children and worrying about Stuart's appearance in the store earlier. He was hoping that his friend had found something else to do or that there had been a PR emergency at Thrive that required Stuart's attention but in his heart he was glad to see his friend sitting outside in the Jeep as he exited the building at ten after five. Despite the impending conversation that could make or break their friendship Vince couldn't help the little flip-flop of his stomach as he saw Stuart, even after sixteen years that feeling didn't go away.

"Get in." Stuart said as he leaned over and pushed the door open. His voice was dark and Vince knew better than to argue with him.

Vince fumbled with the door and then the seatbelt as his hands shook at the thought that Stuart was angry at him. He'd rarely seen his friend like this and it worried him that he had been right all those times when he thought that they wouldn't be able to look at each other after sex, in those fantasies Vince had always thought that he would at least have the memories of being with Stuart but it turned out that they didn't even need to have sex to ruin their friendship.

They stayed silent, Vince didn't want to incur the wrath of a grumpy Stuart and Stuart apparently didn't see the need for further explanation for his anger.

The drive from Harlo's to Stuart's flat was short but it felt to Vince as if it had taken hours and with each second that ticked by the rock in his stomach grew bigger. Finally they pulled up, Stuart parking in his usual spot, and getting out with the assumption that Vince would follow. Feeling like a love-starved puppy that had been kicked by it's owner Vince followed loyally with the minor hope that this was salvageable.

They were barely through the door when Stuart started in on him.

"I thought we agreed that nothing would change." Stuart said angrily.

"Did we?" Vince asked, bewildered and trying desperately to remember what had been said. He didn't remember agreeing to anything, they had barely talked afterward and Vince assumed that like him Stuart was still processing or was leaving enough time for Vince to erase any notion of relationship from his mind before they went back to being friends.

"I wouldn't have taken you there, wouldn't have shared that with you if I knew you'd be like this afterward." Stuart said.

"Like what?"

"You've been avoiding me." Stuart replied. "I bet you and Alex have been having a great time laughing about this behind my back. I'm surprised I can leave my house and walk down the Street without people sniggering, I bet half the street know by now. Know all about Stuart and his sad little fetish."

"I haven't told anyone." Vince replied, sinking down onto the sofa and feeling defeated.

"You haven't?" Stuart asked, his anger giving away to his surprise.

"What would I tell them?" Vince asked. "That we fell asleep together, that we shared a bed?" The incredulity in Vince's voice rose as he started to feel angry at Stuart's assumptions. "It's hardly a news flash Stuart, it's not like we haven't done that before. Hell, you practically lived with my Mother when you were sixteen."

"Yeah, but this was different." Stuart said, taking a seat next to Vince and reaching for his hand. "This was special."

"Why, because we're grown up now?" Vince asked, then he shook his head. "Well, one of us is."

"It meant something, well, to me anyway." Stuart replied. "I haven't shagged anyone since that night, haven't needed to."

"Oh, great." Vince said. "So seeing me half-naked was so bad that it put you, Manchester's Champion Shagger, off sex? Made you impotent?"

"I didn't say I was off sex, not incapable of it either, just haven't wanted to be with anyone else." Stuart said. He squeezed Vince's hand in his own and then continued. "Just been thinking about you instead."

Vince tried to pull his hand away, tried to move away from the uncomfortable conversation he could feel was coming, but this time Stuart was not going to let him walk away.

"Don't walk away from this, Vince." Stuart said. "Stay."

"Stay?" Vince asked sourly. "For what?"

"For whatever you'll let me have." Stuart said, his words so soft that Vince barely heard them and that was when the other shoe dropped and Vince realised that Stuart was serious, that the anger had not just been about Stuart's pride but had also been from a very real feeling that Stuart might be losing Vince, that he might have fucked up one too many times and that this really might have been the last straw.

"Okay." Vince said, pulling his friend into a loose embrace and holding him.

"Okay, you'll stay?" Stuart asked.

"I'll stay." Vince replied.

They remained in the embrace until Stuart started to wane and then Vince pulled him to his feet and led him towards the bedroom. They shared a look, the same look they had shared at Judith's wedding, and Stuart and Vince stripped down to their shorts and then Vince turned back the bed. Stuart settled in, rigid for a moment until Vince settled in beside him and opened his arms. Stuart slid over, not saying a word as he wrapped himself around Vince and rested his head on Vince's chest. Vince let out a soft sigh and then let himself drift. They lay there for a moment, their hearts beating in sync as they slowly fell asleep, their limbs intertwined as if they were a perfect fit.

***

Vince dreamed. In his dream he was back in the classroom that first day when Stuart had walked into his life, so happy to finally have someone that understood him, to finally have a friend. He had wanted to remain in that day forever but real life had come along soon enough and ruined it, but in his dream that day was endless and Vince could only feel the happiness of meeting Stuart and not the regret that he would never have him.

Vince could feel the sunlight streaming in, could feel the edge of consciousness trying to draw him back into the world and he fought it, not wanting to leave his dreams of a life with Stuart just yet but just as they did every morning eventually the sounds of the morning woke him to reality.

Something was different this morning though, Vince couldn't remember at first until he looked down and saw the familiar head on his chest, felt the silkiness of Stuart's impossibly tangle-free hair touching his chest in time with the slow cadence of his breathing.

For a moment Vince wondered if he had finally succeeded in remaining in his dream but then he saw the bracelets on their wrists, something that never starred in his dreams of their childhood, and Vince knew that this was real.

"Vince..." A still asleep Stuart sighed softly as he tried to nestle closer and then grunted in frustration as he realised in his dream he couldn't get closer. Vince braced himself for Stuart to pull away but instead was surprised when his friend gave a feline full body stretch, yawned and sat up as if he had woken from a 12 hour sleep and was fully refreshed.

"Morning." Stuart said, smiling his million watt grin and then leaning down to place a soft kiss on Vince's cheek. "Still not laughing then?" He teased as he allowed the rest of his weight to fall on Vince, pushing himself against him and showing Vince that he definitely wasn't impotent as he had claimed last night.

"Get off, you're heavy." Vince joked, pushing at Stuart and trying to make light of the situation.

"You could get me off." Stuart replied, waggling his eyebrows and rubbing himself against Vince suggestively.

Vince paused for a moment and then laughed, joined a moment later by Stuart who was giggling so hard he had to roll off Vince and onto his back to try and catch his breath. The pair of them lay in fits of giggles, laughing as hard as they used to as boys, until finally Vince was able to catch his breath.

"See, I told you we'd be laughing."

Stuart rolled over onto his stomach, resting one elbow on the mattress, resting his face on his upturned palm and looking at Vince. Vince felt the intensity of Stuart's gaze and felt it so strongly it almost made him want to look away.

Vince did what he always did when he was nervous and tried to talk his way out of the situation that had him so on edge.

"I remember saying to Phil once, just before Alfie was born it was or maybe just after, yeah, it was after, and I was wondering what it was you said to all those men to get them to go with you. I always wondered what the magic words were, as if someone like me could pull all those men if only I knew what the magic words were, and I still wonder some nights..."

"He was in love with you, you know." Stuart said, curtailing Vince's ramblings. "Totally and utterly in love, poor bastard."

"What? Phil?" Vince asked, shaking his head and laughing. "Sod Off."

"He was so totally in awe of you, fucking pathetic if you ask me," Stuart replied.

"Yeah, well..." Vince said softly but Stuart hadn't continued.

"Of course he was right, you're fantastic."

"Shut it." Vince said, feeling as though Stuart was pulling his leg and getting thrown by the fact that Stuart was still looking at him, as though he was looking directly into his soul and seeing all of the feelings that Vince had never had the words to articulate. It worried Vince that he might look up and see those reflected, or worse that Stuart would not return them.

"You are." Stuart said.

"Yeah, a fantastic twat."

"I love you, fantastic twat that you are." Stuart said, not letting Vince get away with it. "Sad science fiction, foreign porn and all." He said although his smile belied the comments.

"And I love you too." Vince replied, his tone just as light and mocking as Stuart's. "Lying, Cheating, Nymphomania and all."

There was a pause, a moment that lasted a little too long for it to be joking and then Stuart spoke.

"Is that really how you see me?" Stuart asked, his voice changed from joking to serious.

"I was only joking." Vince said, but he couldn't quite make it sound believable, he'd had too many years of watching Stuart shag anyone but him to make it sound like there wasn't some truth in it.

"I could be faithful." Stuart said softly. "We could give it a go."

"You are who you are," Vince replied, giving Stuart the same honesty that his friend was giving him, he owed Stuart that much. "It's part of who you are, who I am when I'm with you."

"It doesn't have to be." Stuart replied and then he leaned down to kiss Vince, not giving his friend a chance to pull away before he changed pace and started rubbing against Vince but with no joking this time. Stuart was serious, seriously snogging Vince and driving him wild with the sensations of their erections rubbing against each other with only a thin layer of cloth between them. Stuart was a master of sensation and he hoped to use all of it now to his advantage, persuading his quarry that this was worth it and that he could do this. Stuart was a fighter, a dirty fighter when he needed to be, but someone that always got what he wanted even if he didn't play fair to get it and now that he had his heart set on Vince he was not going to take no for an answer.

Vince could feel his orgasm coming, could feel the moment of climax drawing near and could do nothing to stave off the inevitable moment, he had always thought that this would be the moment of embarassment that Stuart would pull away laughing at him, the joke at his expense, but Stuart was putting all of his attention into making Vince feel what words could not express and suddenly, in the moment before climax, Vince realised that it wasn't the words that Stuart said to all those other men, it was Stuart himself that persuaded them and now he had the full force of that power directed at him Vince finally understood. He came with Stuart's name on his lips and the moment of realisation still fresh in his mind, Stuart didn't have magic powers to get men to sleep with him, Stuart was the power.

As they lay on the bed, panting for air for the second time that morning, Vince turned to look at Stuart and let out a breath.

"Ask me again."

"We could give it a go..." Stuart suggested. Vince opened his mouth, wanting to respond but Stuart continued with the words from the previous night, begging with just as much desperation and sincerity as he'd had then, "Don't walk away from this, Vince, please stay."

"Okay." Vince replied.

Stuart nodded, his energy and emotions completely spent and the pair fell into a soft slumber.

***

Epilogue

Anna watched as the couple that she had come to know over the last few months came in and signed in. The peaceful look that she had previously only seen on Stuart's face after a night at the club was now reflected on each face as they entered and she hoped that whatever it was that they shared, however complicated, that the pair of them had finally found the rest that they needed. She watched on the CCTV as they entered the quiet rooms, taking up a position in Stuart's usual spot and settled down into a quiet sleep, comfortable and content in each other's arms.

***

End


End file.
